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Posts tagged ‘Ruth Reichl’

Foodie Pseudery (6)

By Ruth Reichl – with Alice Waters!

She fed us all. And she’s still doing it. When the feasts – all of them – had ended, we gathered in the street in front of the restaurant, reluctant to let the party end.  At some point Alice came over and put a grape into my mouth.  “Taste this,” she said.

Sweet, intense, slightly perfumed, the flavor resonated in my mouth for a good hour. It was just a grape.  It was one of the best things I have ever eaten.  Even after a week of extraordinary food, Alice Waters can offer you one single bite that blows you right away.

Foodie Pseudery (3)

The original inspiration for this series was Ruth Reichl’s gloriously pretentious and self-congratulatory Twitter feed. I’m not entirely sure what annoys me more: the swooning adoration which ‘foodies’ heap on her and her observations, or the overwhelming smugness and High Moral Seriousness of her tweets.

But, wonderfully, someone writing under the pseudonym Ruth Bourdain produces a daily mash-up of Ruth Reichl’s daily wisdom with the sensibility of Anthony Bourdain. Seriously, this could only end well.

So, this from Ruth Reichl:

‘Fire blazing. Bread baking. Bolognese burbling on the stove. Stella purring. Blues playing. Happy to be home.’

Becomes:

‘Bong blazing. Tangerine zest burning. Bolognese burbling. Stella purring. Me: hallucinating. Happy to be stoned with this motherfucking cat.’

And this:

‘By the pool at Bartolotta, happy to be alive. Deep red shrimp, almost impossibly intense. Octopus. Langoustines. Rouget. Pasta. Memorable.’

Is transformed into this:

‘By the pool at Bartolotta. Red shrimp. Langoustines. An octopus doing the backstroke. This is some pool. Or maybe it’s just the drugs.’

Happy Friday.