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Foodie Pseudery (3)

The original inspiration for this series was Ruth Reichl’s gloriously pretentious and self-congratulatory Twitter feed. I’m not entirely sure what annoys me more: the swooning adoration which ‘foodies’ heap on her and her observations, or the overwhelming smugness and High Moral Seriousness of her tweets.

But, wonderfully, someone writing under the pseudonym Ruth Bourdain produces a daily mash-up of Ruth Reichl’s daily wisdom with the sensibility of Anthony Bourdain. Seriously, this could only end well.

So, this from Ruth Reichl:

‘Fire blazing. Bread baking. Bolognese burbling on the stove. Stella purring. Blues playing. Happy to be home.’

Becomes:

‘Bong blazing. Tangerine zest burning. Bolognese burbling. Stella purring. Me: hallucinating. Happy to be stoned with this motherfucking cat.’

And this:

‘By the pool at Bartolotta, happy to be alive. Deep red shrimp, almost impossibly intense. Octopus. Langoustines. Rouget. Pasta. Memorable.’

Is transformed into this:

‘By the pool at Bartolotta. Red shrimp. Langoustines. An octopus doing the backstroke. This is some pool. Or maybe it’s just the drugs.’

Happy Friday.

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